Now we move on to part the second part of our annual bracket. If you just arrived, we’re voting to determine which of the administration’s ethically challenged attorneys are most in need of a swift kick in the law license. Courts have already documented multiple instances of government lawyers lying to courts, failing to comply with orders, and breaching statutory requirements. The specifics vary by lawyer, but anyone in a leadership position has, at this point, taken or approved an action that should at least warrant a disciplinary investigation.
You can check out the already released Roy Cohn Region here.
So tuck in your pants, because here we go with the…
THE RUDY GIULIANI REGION
Rudy Giuliani was disbarred in both New York and D.C. for making false statements about the 2020 election. He went from “America’s Mayor” to filing for bankruptcy after a $148 million defamation judgment. He is simultaneously the cautionary tale and the template for this whole bracket.
(1) Lindsey Halligan vs. (4) Drew Ensign
1. Lindsey Halligan, former Pretend U.S. Attorney, E.D. Va (University of Miami)
Where do we even start?
Halligan is an insurance lawyer with zero — zero — criminal law experience. Nonetheless, she was installed as the top federal prosecutor in the Eastern District of Virginia after Donald Trump posted what was almost certainly a DM intended for Pam Bondi complaining that no one had indicted his enemies yet and flagging Halligan as the sort of willing participant who could make it happen. The existing interim U.S. Attorney was then fired, career prosecutors who objected were sidelined, and Halligan got to work on criminal cases against former FBI Director James Comey and NY Attorney General Letitia James.
What followed was a masterclass in how not to practice law. She made ran face first into a pile of rakes from the start, apparently suggesting Comey had no Fifth Amendment rights. She submitted an indictment that the full grand jury never voted on! A federal judge ruled her appointment was illegal and she possessed “no more authority than any private citizen off the street.” She then continued using the title anyway, until another federal judge penned what can only be described as an “Order To Explain What The Hell, Lady?” After trying to claim that court decisions don’t apply generally, she got benchslapped out of a job.
4. Drew Ensign, Deputy Assistant Attorney General for the Office of Immigration Litigation of the Civil Division (NYU School of Law)
According to whistleblower Erez Reuveni’s disclosure, Ensign told Judge James Boasberg that he didn’t know whether deportation flights were leaving that weekend — despite having attended the meeting where Emil Bove told senior DOJ lawyers the planes would take off “no matter what.” The gap between what he knew and what he told the court is, if the allegations are accurate, a candor violation with a neon sign on it.
Ensign also reportedly called Reuveni after the Abrego Garcia hearing to demand to know why he hadn’t argued that Abrego Garcia was a “terrorist.” Spoiler… it was because there’s no evidence to suggest he’s a terrorist.
(2) Alina Habba vs. (3) Steven Vandervelden
2. Alina Habba, former Pretend U.S. Attorney, D. NJ (Widener University)
Tough battle of fake prosecutors for that 1 seed. Halligan managed to rack up more impressively embarrassing losses to snatch the top rung, but Habba is a fierce competitor. One of Trump’s personal attorneys, Habba’s primary professional achievement was flopping in the E. Jean Carroll case so spectacularly that the judge had to explain basic trial procedure to her. And then Trump installed this parking garage lawyer as the top prosecutor for New Jersey. Except that didn’t work out because — as is a trend — Trump’s DOJ can’t figure out how to appoint people in line with the Constitution. Habba also quit the job she never legally held, but the chaos carries on with a federal judge deeply perturbed at the possibility that she’s still secretly running the show over there.
3. Steven Vandervelden, AUSA, D.C.
When the DOJ wanted to convince a grand jury to indict six Democratic lawmakers for filming a video accurately restating the Uniform Code of Military Justice, the regular staff apparently couldn’t or wouldn’t pursue a facially frivolous criminal case and D.C. U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro brought in a veteran prosecutor from her Westchester County days to get the job done. At the time, he was retired and running a dance photography studio.
The grand jury did not buy it.
Vandervelden is far from a decision-maker, but he definitely made a professional choice when he came out of retirement to pursue a case that no one else thought had merit. At least he has something to fall back on if he loses his license.
Polls are open now. Voting will continue through Monday at 7:59 p.m. Eastern. Get in there and vote.