My cousin Evan grew up in Plymouth, Minnesota. We’d often go for a swim in Hidden Lake when my family came for a visit.
Minnesota is almost as far as you can get from the ocean and still be in the United States. Even so, that didn’t prevent me from, once, as a kid, a few minutes after finishing the movie “Jaws” and a few seconds after I thought I saw a large dark shape pass beneath me in the water, hurriedly clambering up onto the battered wooden diving platform floating in Hidden Lake and voicing some unconvincing excuse about needing to take a break.
Tourism promoters in the North Star State are fond of saying that Minnesota has more shoreline than California, Hawaii, and Florida combined. However, unlike in Florida, Hawaii, and California, there is very little in Minnesotan bodies of water (other than the water itself) that can kill a person.
Shark attacks are exceedingly rare. In a typical year, only around half a dozen people are killed by sharks worldwide. Still, Minnesotans generally like to travel, and it’s possible to be unlucky.
Such was the case with Arlene Lillis, 56, a Minnesotan killed earlier this year on a trip to the U.S. Virgin Islands. She had the grave misfortune of meeting one of the mere handful of all the ocean’s sharks that prove deadly to humans.
That it is not always rational is one of the defining attributes of fear itself. Submerged in Hidden Lake those 30-some years ago, there was no rational reason for the pulse of terror that ran up my spine.
Lillis demonstrated that, even for Minnesotans, there is something to that primal phobia of sharks. Yet, there have clearly been much more pressing threats to the lives of Minnesotans so far this year.
Namely, their own federal government. The same month that Lillis succumbed to her fatal shark bite, masked federal agents unjustifiably gunned down Renee Good, and then, Alex Pretti, in the streets of Minnesota, in broad daylight, on video. Both were 37.
Until 2026, it was hard to imagine that white, wholesome Midwestern citizens had far more to fear from unaccountable immigration agents than they did from row upon row of razor-sharp teeth. Alas, sharks only attack humans by mistake, while everyone’s a target for ICE.
Now Trump’s dumb war against Iran has created a new threat. A Minnesotan, 39-year-old Sergeant Nicole Amor, was among the first U.S. troops killed in retaliatory strikes.
“Sadly, there will likely be more before it ends,” said President Donald Trump of the first American soldiers killed in the unpopular war he started for no apparent reason. “That’s the way it is.”
Of course, as much as I do generally enjoy Minnesotans, I don’t really think one human life is worth more than any other regardless of where it is being lived. So it’s important to remember that although Trump has made 2026 a particularly deadly year for Minnesotans, he’s also responsible for making it deadly for hundreds of Iranians, including dozens of children at a girls’ elementary school.
Picture the long, torpedo-shaped body of a great white. Those dead eyes staring into your soul. The bone-crushing force of its serrated teeth as it projects its unfused upper jaw forward in an uncanny death grip.
It’s easy to shudder when you think about a shark. The reality is, for Minnesotans, ICE enforcement and Trump’s stupid war against Iran have already been three times deadlier this year than the ocean’s deadliest sharks. You should be shuddering every time you see Trump’s sagging, heavily made-up face.
This is an example of one state, a very limited time period, and a handful of bad policy decisions. Expanded throughout the country, throughout the world, the callous disregard for human life constantly on display by this administration is responsible for ridiculous new levels of risk for everyone on the planet.
I do miss the days when I had the luxury of fearing sharks while swimming a thousand miles from the nearest sea. Whether you accept it or not, whether you voted for him or not, the reality is that we’ve all got far more to fear now from the White House than from anything in the natural world. The shark attack I can chalk up to bad luck; the three dead Minnesotans who’d be alive today but for the way Trump runs the federal government, that’s ultimately deliberate.
To paraphrase the man himself, there will be more before the end. That’s the way it is.
Jonathan Wolf is a civil litigator and author of Your Debt-Free JD (affiliate link). He has taught legal writing, written for a wide variety of publications, and made it both his business and his pleasure to be financially and scientifically literate. Any views he expresses are probably pure gold, but are nonetheless solely his own and should not be attributed to any organization with which he is affiliated. He wouldn’t want to share the credit anyway. He can be reached at jon_wolf@hotmail.com.
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