Navigating the Complexities of Family Responsibilities While Working

You’re on a Zoom call when daycare calls — your toddler has a fever. Or you’ve just clocked in when your mother’s home aide cancels. For countless New Yorkers, balancing work and caregiving isn’t a side note — it’s part of daily life. And yet, many workplaces still expect employees to check their personal obligations at the door, as if family responsibilities exist outside of business hours.

Whether you’re a parent juggling pickups and sick days or an adult child managing a parent’s care, you deserve the same opportunities and respect as any other employee. When employers punish or sideline workers because of caregiving roles, it’s not just unfair — it may be illegal. 

The Modern Caregiver: It’s Not Just Moms Anymore

Picture this: A father asks to shift his schedule by 30 minutes to handle school drop-off. A daughter takes a longer lunch break once a week to bring her elderly father to physical therapy. Neither is slacking. Both are showing up — just not in the rigid, always-available way their employers expect.

Today’s caregivers come in many forms: single parents balancing full-time jobs, married couples tag-teaming sick days, and adult children making sure aging relatives are safe and supported. These roles don’t fit neatly into a 9-to-5 mold, and yet some employers still act as if caregiving is a personal issue that shouldn’t “interfere” with work.

That mindset can lead to assumptions that a caregiver is less committed, less available, or more likely to cause disruption. When those assumptions shape how someone is treated at work, it can move beyond inconvenience and into illegal territory.

When Does It Become Discrimination?

Being a caregiver shouldn’t cost you a promotion, fair treatment, or your job — but for some workers, it does. This type of unfair treatment is known as family responsibilities discrimination, and while it’s not always obvious, it can be deeply damaging.

Here are some red flags:

• You’re told you’re “not the right fit” for a leadership role after requesting a flexible schedule
• Coworkers without caregiving duties are treated more favorably, even with the same performance
• Comments from supervisors suggest you’re “distracted” or “not as committed”
• You’re penalized after returning from protected leave (like FMLA or bonding time with a newborn)
• You’re fired shortly after disclosing your family responsibilities or asking for time off

In New York City, this kind of conduct isn’t just poor management—it may be illegal. Both New York State and NYC Human Rights Laws protect workers from being discriminated against because they care for children, elderly parents, or sick family members. Those laws apply regardless of gender, marital status, or job title.

Discrimination doesn’t have to come in the form of slurs or outright hostility. Sometimes it’s quieter — a missed opportunity here, a pattern of exclusion there. But if your caregiving role is being held against you, it may be time to speak up.

What You Can Do if You’re Being Treated Unfairly

If something feels off at work — if your responsibilities at home are suddenly a problem when they never were before — trust your instincts. The first thing you can do is start documenting everything. Keep records of:

• Schedule requests and your employer’s responses
• Any changes to your workload, schedule, or treatment after disclosing caregiving duties
• Conversations, especially those that hint at bias (“You’ve got a lot going on,” “We need someone more flexible”)
• Performance reviews or write-ups that seem inconsistent with your track record

If your employer has a written policy about flexible work, caregiving leave, or discrimination, check whether it’s being applied consistently. Unequal enforcement can be a red flag.

You also don’t have to confront the issue alone. If HR isn’t taking you seriously, or if you’re being punished for speaking up, an employment discrimination attorney can help clarify your rights. Retaliation is also illegal, and you may have protections you didn’t know about.

You Deserve a Workplace That Respects Your Life Outside of It

Juggling work and family isn’t easy, but being a caregiver shouldn’t make you a target at your job. If your employer is treating you differently because of your family responsibilities, you have rights. And you don’t have to figure this out alone. Contact Lipsky Lowe LLP for a confidential consultation. We’ll help you protect your job, assert your rights, and take action if your employer has crossed the line.