the-best-of-times,-the-worst-of-times:-navigating-the-emotional-roller-coaster-as-an-in-house-lawyer

The Best Of Times, The Worst Of Times: Navigating The Emotional Roller Coaster As An In-House Lawyer

Kids on rides vector cartoon illustration of boy and girl riding on rollercoaster in amusement parkIt can be the best of times, and it can be the worst of times. As an in-house lawyer, you see it all. No matter how well-run your company, there will always be bumps along the way. How you handle these moments can make all the difference — for the company, for your coworkers, and for you. Having the right mindset is crucial when things aren’t going well.

What mindset helps me?

It Is Just Business

People often come to you when they are having the worst day of their lives, overwhelmed by a lawsuit, an investigation, or a contract gone wrong. They feel powerless, frustrated, and crushed by a system that doesn’t move as fast as their deadlines — or by the weight of a legal problem they didn’t anticipate.

When those people come to you, they are looking for more than just legal advice. They often also need to vent, to express their fears, anger, and even shed some tears. As their in-house lawyer, you are often the only one who can provide the safe space for them do that. So, let them. You’re not just the company lawyer; you’re also a trusted confidant. Don’t take that role lightly. Remember to maintain perspective. As heavy as those emotions may feel, it’s just business. And when the legal fire is put out, life — and business — will go on.

It Is Not Personal

While it’s important to provide that safe space, it is also important to remember that it is not personal. When someone is stressed, frightened, angry, or all three at once, they may lash out or say things in the heat of the moment that sting. They might direct their frustration at you, blaming legal for the company’s troubles or accusing you of not doing enough.

And here’s the tricky part: you care about the company, about your coworkers, and about the outcome. So, it’s hard not to internalize that frustration and feel like the target. But you can’t. Let their words wash over you. In most cases, they’re not angry at you — they’re angry at the situation. If you can remember that, you’ll avoid unnecessary stress and stay focused on what really matters: helping solve the problem at hand.

Don’t Go It Alone

One of the most common misconceptions about the in-house lawyers is that you are a “lone wolf,” handling legal matters in isolation. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, you are often the only lawyer in the room. But you are not alone. Your strength comes from your ability to build a community — both within the company and outside of it.

Internally, it’s vital to cultivate strong relationships across departments. Whether it’s finance, human resources, operations, or the executive leadership team, these are your allies. You are not just giving legal advice in a vacuum; you’re helping these departments navigate legal risks that could affect their entire strategy. Knowing their priorities and challenges will help you provide more tailored advice — and it will also make them more willing to listen when you need them to consider legal constraints.

Externally, don’t hesitate to build a community of in-house lawyers, outside counsel, and subject matter experts. Having people you can call for advice, second opinions, or even just a reality check is invaluable. You don’t need to have all the answers yourself — you just need to know where to find them.

Don’t Worry About Accolades And Public Acknowledgment

Here’s another hard truth about being an in-house lawyer: a lot of what you do will go unrecognized by the broader organization. You’re behind the scenes, working to protect the company from risks that most people never even realize exist. If you’re doing your job well, you’re making everyone else’s job easier. But that also means the spotlight often shines elsewhere.

This can be tough, especially when you’re putting out fires and navigating complex legal challenges. But don’t let the lack of public acknowledgment bother you. Your true value isn’t in the applause; it’s in the fact that your team trusts you. They show how much they value you every time they knock on your door and say, “I’ve got a situation. Can you help?” That’s your reward — the knowledge that you are an essential part of the team, even if no one is handing you a trophy.

Celebrate The Wins — Even The Small Ones

Finally, don’t forget to celebrate the wins, no matter how small they seem. In-house work can be demanding and relentless, with one crisis after another. It’s easy to get so caught up in problem-solving that you forget to take a moment and recognize what’s going right. Did you successfully negotiate a tricky contract? Did you help resolve a dispute that could have escalated? Did you provide guidance that saved the company from a potential pitfall?

These wins might not come with balloons and champagne, but they’re worth celebrating. Take a moment to acknowledge them — both for yourself and for your team because, at the end of the day, you’re all in this together, and those little victories are what keep the company operating smoothly.


Lisa_Lang_2Lisa Lang is an in-house lawyer and thought leader who is passionate about all things in-house.  She has recently launched a website and blog Why This, Not That™ (www.lawyerlisalang.com ) to serve as a resource for in-house lawyers.  You can e-mail her at [email protected] , connect with her on LinkedIn  (https://www.linkedin.com/in/lawyerlisalang/) or follow her on Twitter (@lang_lawyer).