The holidays are upon us, and nothing brings in the season quite like rampant consumerism! It can be hard to buy gifts for people who have a knack for talking about work even on their days off. That’s why the friends and family of lawyers often resort to “what gift should I buy a lawyer” searches on Google and why said lawyers often end up with snazzy patterned socks. Thankfully, the folks at the ABA Journal have released an ongoing series of annual recommendations that you can check out here. (Above the Law’s own holiday gift guide will be published soon as well.)
But you come to Above the Law for the inside baseball on these sorts of things. What lawyers really want depends on who is doing the giving. Are you a law firm? The correct gift is money. It is always money. Milbank raised the bar weeks ago, what the hell are you other corporate people doing? Chop-chop.
For everyone else, stick to quality of life improvements. Despite already making six figures, a significant amount of lawyers are picking up side gigs — buy them something that takes some of the planning out of their other hustle. Whether it’s crafting supplies for their Etsy account or a nice ring light for their TikTok or OnlyFans, they’ll appreciate that you made their JD Advantage work just a little bit easier.
Between all the BS they deal with at work, who wants to deal with their own? You really can’t go wrong with the Squatty Potty, bidet, or heated toilet seat combo. Have three lawyer friends? Buy one item for each person and tell them to work together! Drop the word synergy a couple of times just to show them how smart you are too.
Happy consumption!
2023 Gifts for Lawyers Guide: 14 ideas for Black Friday and Cyber Monday shopping (photo gallery) [ABA Journal]
Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s. He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at cwilliams@abovethelaw.com and by tweet at @WritesForRent.
